muziklprodigee's Journal

So I just found out like 5 minutes ago that one of my ex-girlfriends is pregnant. She's younger than ME. It sucks how we think that getting older will grant us more freedom and more opportunity, but really, it just gives us bigger problems.

Overall, the summer has been exactly what I hoped it would be! Time to get out and relax, work, and get back to truly being myself after an awkward sophomore year. I got almost 3 months to myself in my condo, took a few trips, burned over $1500 in savings, and hung out with a lot of people that I usually don't see very often anymore (but others that I do). I got close to a few people that I didn't expect to get close to, and dropped out of contact with others that I never thought would leave my life. But I feel that my friendships have strengthened and I'm much closer to being "me." And I think that in an ever-changing, confusing world, that's all I could have hoped to do.

I don't know if I talked about my road trip to California with a couple of friends in my last entry, but I'll talk about it now. I don't know how a trip can include Sea World, Disneyland, and Magic Mountain and still suck, but that's what happened. Andrew and Kelly were all over each other the whole trip, and I was basically treated as a third wheel. Of course, throw in that I'm still not quite sure who I am or what I want in a relationship, mix it with a couple that's incredibly confident in themselves and in each other, and you get an incredible amount of awkwardness. And there was no need for Andrew to call me a dipshit at Sea World when the trip was 2/3 over, just to top off my frustration. He didn't have to invite me at all, and it was hardly like I was even there anyway, so to make me feel completely unappreciated was just uncalled for. He's an incredibly confrontational person, so most of everything that I said was thrown back at me with plenty of reasons why my opinions were incorrect. Even when I gave him suggestions about neat songs to sing and I gave him headphones to listen to them, he wouldn't even listen to the whole songs...he wasn't paying attention or giving value to me. And I feel really bad for Kelly because she puts up with his crap and clings by his side no matter how demanding and unappreciative he is. Probably just because she likes the sex or something. But still, hanging out with them was no fun with no acknowledgment and no attempt to make it seem like I was even an equal in their presence. The last 3 days of the trip, I was almost in complete silence. I didn't want to talk to them at all, and I didn't want to do anything with them. But since it was my parents' car that we were using, I was the chauffeur. I was supposed to stay with them an extra day, but I just dropped them off at Havasu City and basically told them that I had to leave. I couldn't stand another moment with them. And it sucks because Kelly's a great person, and I like her a lot...and Andrew has good qualities. But together, I hated the collective "them" so much.

But if you'd like to go on a better road trip with me sometime, then hit me up either this winter or next summer and we'll do something epic!

I'm broke right now. 2 days ago, I was looking at my bank balance wondering how I was going to make it past the first month of school. And even though I'm still like that, I got a call 2 days ago that asked me to come into In-N-Out to work that night. Then, that night, someone asked me to work the next day. And the following night, I got a call asking me to come in for 6 hours tonight. So hopefully, this paycheck will come in during mid-September, right as my funds shrivel away to nothing. Once I start getting my Shadow Mountain checks in mid-September for doing practically nothing, all will be well.

Goodbye to all my friends that are leaving again this semester! I'll miss you deeply :)

And as for me getting back into the school routine? I think it's about time. Hopefully, I can really start pursuing conducting and composition this year. When I got into college, I told myself that by junior year, I'd be done with most of my pre-requisites and I'd be heading into the stuff that I truly enjoy. If I can keep that mindset through the semester, I might just be able to make some decent progress instead of loafing around like I did the first two years.

Forever and Always,
-The Music Man

Current Mood: Sunburned

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